i do it for u..

3rd dec....
原本明天是我一直期待的日子。。
原本是我们见面的日子。。
原本是我们甜蜜的日子。。
原本是我们拥有彼此的日子。。
原本是我们感受对方的日子。。

大家都说我不是忘不了。。
而是根本就不想放下。。
也许吧。。
我的努力只会让一切变得更清晰。。
让我把自己看得更彻底。。
从第一天爱上你，这份感情没减少过。。
反而越陷越深。。
你就像无底洞，而我却一直往下掉。。
总是希望会在终点遇见你。。
我很笨吧。。
是你让这个笨蛋爱上你的。。
不懂为什么。。
面对你，我总是不知所措。。
面对你，我变得很迟钝。。
面对你，我的原则都被遗忘。。
面对你，我容易乱了方寸。。
面对你，我的决定都变了。。
为什么你总是有方法让我更爱你呢。。
我也很希望我可以让你越来越爱我。。
我也希望你想待在我身边。。
你画的圈圈，我走不出去了。。

你常要我照顾自己。。
你懂我的。。
我还是需要你的照顾。。
走路时还是要你牵着才不撞到。。
过马路时还是要你拉着我。。
有时还要跟你撒娇要你喂我。。
跌倒时也要听你唠叨几句再帮我揉伤口。。
你在，什么都不用担心。。
你不在。。什么都会使我伤痕累累。。
所以啊。。以前就告诉你不可以离开我。。
我们的每一个小细节都深刻烙印在我心里。。
你也是要照顾自己。。
不要迟睡。。
不要去Clubbing。。
不要喝酒。。
不要超速。。
不要太劳累于工作。。
要定时吃饭。。
考试加油！！
要乖乖听话。。

明天开始有五天假期。。
Desmond 留在这里。。
Issac 回槟城。。
而我，自己一个人去一个地方。。
去回味我们的回忆。。
没有任何人的陪伴。。
有点害怕啊。。
所以这几天暂时不写了。。

今天，照例一首歌。。。
Bryan Adams---i do it for u....

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way
Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you


如果有一天，我真的离开了。。
你会难过吗。。
你也会想念我吗。。
你真的会跟以前说的一样，拼命找我吗。。
我好像真的不可以再赖着你了。。
不然你会累。。

Changes will not deal with Plan...

Wednesday now....
2 weeks already...
u leave this room 2 weeks ady...
feel like u're just beside me and flirt me...
the room still the same..
the bed still the same..
everything is still the same...
but..
the Only different is......U....
U r not here anymore...
ur voice...
ur laugh...
ur scent...
ur hug...
ur warm...
all gone at the same time...
i wish to have a time machine...
back to the moment that spend with u...
pause on the moment...and make a changes on it then only play it...
did u think this before???...........
if u think 14 days gonna make me healed...
u're wrong...
i'm still the same...
i still miss u...
i still need u...
i still care u...
i still love u...
i'm still Me...
but u will never know all this...
in front u,
i have to pretend...
i have to act...
i have to tell lie..
i have to be Not me...
this is only thing i can do now..
i can't let u see through me..
M***t T**...what can i do...
forget u? let go u? give up u?
i've tried too..
but u know how hard izzit?
once i force myself not to think...
everything become clearer in my mind...
i failed....i'm so into u....

3 weeks ago...
i plan to go back on 3rd dec and ask my fren fetch me to ur hostel...
then ask u come out n give u a big big hug once u open the door...
5 days i can stay with u...
i plan to give u surprise...
i plan to company u...
i plan to stay beside u...
i plan to make u happy..
i plan to take care u..
i plan to celebrate our 5th year with u...
but now....everything change...
changes breaks my plan...
ticket still with me...but it now become a useless paper to me..
happy and expectancy replaced by sadness...
not going back penang ady...
i'm not in ur heart anymore...
my perfect plan is now nothing for u...
u no need me...

last nite i slept at bout 3am...
lied to u again..
i said no need u company me..
but actually is contrary to what i said...
i duno why u say good night to me everynight...
u knew i cnt sleep without u?
thx for that..
n my finger..i duno how u know bout it..
i din buy medicine..let it be..
but thx too...
i can't give u kiss or what..
Thanks is what i can do...

these few days hard for u right?
assignment did wrong??
u add oil naa..
re-do again...u can d...
put more effort ma..
dun lazy....
bout ur work...
tiring right?
so late still at there...
enjoy it ba..oni lik this u will not feel tired...

today a song for u...
"love to be loved by you" from Marc Terenzi.u knew this song...but i just wanna give u again...i like it so much..

I can't believe I'm standing here
Been waiting for so many years and
Today I found the Queen to reign my heart
You changed my live so patiently
And turned it into something good and real
I feel just like I felt in all my dreams
There are questions hard to answer
Can't you see…
Baby, tell me how can I tell you
That I love you more than life
Show me how can I show you
That I'm blinded by your light
When you touch me I can touch you
To find out the dream is true
I love to be loved by you
You're looking kind of scared right now
You're waiting for the wedding vows
But I don't know if my tongue's able to talk
Your beauty is just blinding me
Like sunbeams on a summer stream and
I gotta close my eyes to protect me
Can you take my hand and lead me
From here please yeah...yeah...
Baby, tell me how can I tell you
That I love you more than life
Show me how can I show you
That I'm blinded by your light
When you touch me I can touch you
To find out the dream is true
I love to be loved, I need to be loved
I love to be loved by you
I know they gonna say our love's not strong enough to last forever
And I know they gonna say that we'll give up because of heavy weather
But how can they understand that our love is just heaven sent
We keep on going on and on cause this is where we both belong…
Baby, tell me how can I tell you
That I love you more than life
Show me how can I show you
That I'm blinded by your light
When you touch me I can touch you
To find out the dream is true
I love to be loved, I need yes I need to be loved
I love to be loved by you
Yes I love to be loved by you

if no changes...
i'm packing now..
i'm excited to meet u now...
i'm waiting 3rd dec..
i'm happy to be with u...
i'm........................
if no changes...
will u wish to see me too..............